Walking Away from Obesity: Week 14

Fourteen weeks? It feels like I just posted a 4 week update. But here we are, 14 weeks into my weight loss journey and I am down 23.4 pounds. While I'm definitely proud of the progress, I find myself beating myself up about how much I could have lost by now "if I"....

.....if I was working out, I would have lost a lot more

.....if I hadn't splurged last Friday (and the Friday before and the Friday before that and the entire weekend before that - you get the picture) I would weigh even less

.....if I hadn't had that dessert, I would have lost more at my last weigh in

And on and on it goes. But then I stop myself and remember that negative self talk isn't helping. And I try to think of the more positive take on the "if I" statements.

....if I hadn't started this journey at all I would weigh the same, and probably more

....if I had deprived myself of that dessert (which did not cause a weight gain) I would have been depriving myself and would have ended up splurging on something worse.
....if I keep making healthy choices a majority of the time, Francesca will learn to make the same choices.
....if I hadn't started this journey (and shared it on my blog) I would not have inspired multiple people to join Weight Watchers and pursue a healthier lifestyle. 

It's all a matter of perspective. And instead of dwelling on what I could have done, I will celebrate what I have done. Not only have I lost more than 20 pounds, I have lost weight EVERY WEEK since I started, sometimes as little as .2 pounds but I have not gained or stayed the same. That is something to celebrate. 

I've also realized something. Okay, it is something I've probably always known but am realizing the importance of admitting it and recognizing the challenge it brings. I LOVE FOOD. And I'm not talking leafy greens and fruity types of food (although I do enjoy Twizzlers and they are fruity). It's not a healthy relationship and I still find myself using food as a reward. Today, after I lost 1.4 lbs - I decided it would be okay to get Chik Fil A for lunch. And of course it is okay, as long as I track it. But I'm starting to understand this will always be a battle. Not just until I lose 20 more pounds or until I get to my goal weight. This will be something I struggle with FOREVER. I will always want the unhealthy option. And I will have to continually remind myself of why I need to pick the healthier option, why I shouldn't go through the drive-thru, why I don't need the extra sugar, etc. I expect as I continue on this journey it might get a little easier but it will never NOT be a struggle for me and I need to be very honest about that. 

I'll end with a celebration pic - I didn't take any "before" photos which I'm regretting a little now, but I did snap a photo of this moment a couple weeks ago - when I fit into a sweater that had been hanging in my closet for 5+ years...I think I may have worn it once after I bought it but decided it wasn't very flattering and hadn't worn it since. I apparently liked it enough that it made at least one, if not two moves with me...and IT FITS. Francesca was very concerned about the absence of my head in this picture. :)

My goal by my next post (which hopefully won't be 10 weeks from now) is to be exercising on a regular basis. At the very least I need to start working out or walking on my lunch breaks. And I will continue to challenge myself to celebrate all the things I've achieved, not dwell on the "could have/should have" thoughts.