Surviving The First Year with Twins: Must Have Items

On May 11, 2019 it was official. We had survived the first year as parents of twins. Sometimes it feels like it was actually 10 years and in the same breath it feels like 10 minutes. Recently, I was asked about how we got sleep in the first few months after they were born, and I struggled to recall what the schedule was like. But then again it seems like yesterday that we were tracking what time they ate, how many ounces and how often they pooped and peed (parenting is glamorous, eh?). When I look back at the first year there are several things that I wouldn’t have survived without, so I wanted to take some time to give the items/brands some love and maybe help another twin mama out! Here we go. In no particular order.

The Joovy Twin Roo Stroller was a lifesaver. It was light and easy to fold and throw in the back of the car. The car seats clicked in easily, and you can buy adapters to fit different car seats. It was easy to maneuver when I was on my own for doctor appointments or wherever we went that required opening doors and getting through narrow doorways because it goes the long way instead of across (there has to be a more eloquent way of saying that, but you get the point). It also has two bottle/cup holders and a huge storage space under the car seats. You do only use this while they are in the infant car seats, so we stopped around 6-7 months, but it was still worth it.

We then started using the Kolcraft Cloud Side-by-Side Double Umbrella Stroller. It didn’t break the bank; you can find it for under $100 – I got mine for around $80 and we use it all the time for doctor appointments, trips to the mall and other quick stops. It’s compact when folded and fits in the car easily.  

Twin Z Nursing Pillow – Ask me how many times I used this bad boy for nursing. Exactly ZERO. But for sitting, playing and yes even napping (GASP – the tag says not to let them nap on it.) Before you start sending me hate mail – it was before they were rolling, and they were never left unattended.
Anyhoo – we loved this thing. It was especially helpful when you just needed a cozy place to set a baby while changing a diaper or feeding the other one. Or when you just needed to give your arms a rest but wanted them propped up a little to talk to them or play. It is a must have, breast feeding or not.

Graco Pack ‘n Play Playard with Twin Bassinets – I wasn’t sure about this one because a lot of twin parents told me they didn’t use a double Pack n’ Play, but our oldest daughter spent a lot of time napping in hers, so I registered for it and I’m so glad I did. The twins slept in this for the firs­­t three months and then napped in it for much longer. Today it has become a toy repository, which is a bit ridiculous – but it allows me to see my living room floor at night, so it works. If we did clean it out, it’s big enough that they could both still sit in there and have room to play.

Table for Two – Probably one of the most expensive items on our registry but worth every penny.  And even when they started feeding themselves, we would still strap them in when it was time for bottles. It also allowed our four-year-old to help feed them. It’s super easy to wash with the cloth cover coming off easily, as well as the material that wraps around the entire seat. We would have been lost without this! We didn’t use it at first and I wondered if it was going to be a waste of money. No way. We just needed to wait until they were a little bigger. I would say around five months or so we started using this regularly to feed the girls. 

Carriers
I cannot say enough good things about the Weego twin carrier. Although my twins were not preemies at all (they weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz and 7 lbs.), you can start using the Weego starting at 4 lbs. The Weego allowed me to take both babies outside so I could watch their big sister play or just have them both close to me but still have my hands free to get stuff done. I took lots of walks with them up north and the best part was, they almost always fell asleep once they were in the Weego. The only downside (if there is one) is you can only wear them until they are a combined 33 lbs. For us that was about five months.

I now have a Twingo air model. I first attempted using this carrier when the twins were about six months, but we just weren’t ready. That’s a collective we. I think the babies weren’t quite strong enough and I wasn’t confident enough. There were two other adults trying to help me get them in and it wasn’t working. Fast forward to when they were around 9 months and easy peasy. Well, easy peasy after several reviews of YouTube videos and after one terrifying attempt to put Annabelle on the back (in the Target parking lot), I learned Amelia is much better suited for that position. But otherwise, easy peasy. I love it. With each twin weighing about 19 lbs. I can’t wear them for long periods of time, but its great for when they are tired, and I need to get them to sleep or I just need them contained for a few minutes and they are sick of their stroller. PSA: Don’t wear this out in public if you’re in a hurry and don’t have time for questions or conversations! During my first public outing with it I had two twin moms stop me to ask where this carrier was 9-12 years ago (when their twins were little). They were in awe that such a thing existed. Well done, Twingo! The other great thing about this carrier (which I have not done yet) is it can come apart and be used as two individual carriers! Definitely worth the money!

Jump A Roos
This isn’t necessarily a twin thing – but something that helped me a ton the first year was having two door jumpers. There are a lot of things I don’t think you necessarily need two of. We only had one exersaucer (but my mom had two and they loved being in them at the same time), you could probably get away with having one swing, etc., but at night when my husband was working or traveling, and everyone wanted to see mama, but mama needed to make dinner or wash bottles, this was a life saver. Of course, it only works if you have the proper door frames to hold them. Thankfully we did. The girls loved jumping in these while I was in the kitchen and added bonus if you have a big kid who likes to play with them while they are in them. That really kept them entertained.

Formula Pitcher
If you are a formula feeding family like we are, a Dr. Brown Formula Mixing Pitcher is a must have. Or if you are like us – you buy two - one for your Dairy Queen baby and one for your Soy Bean baby. These made life so much easier for us.

Summer Must Haves
Finally – a few must haves if you’ll be taking your little ones out in the sun and/or water in the first few months after they are born.

I loved RuffleButts Baby Long Sleeve One Piece Swimsuit and Full Throttle life jackets. We used them both primarily for our week-long summer vacation, but the life jackets are good up to 30 lbs so the twins wore them again this summer. We also bought RuffleButts suits again this summer (pictured) and absolutely loved them!

Also this summer we bought the Summer Infant Pop N’ Play Ultimate Portable Playard. It was ridiculously easy to put up and take down and it was great for the beach. And since we’re just back from vacation, another thing that was tremendously helpful –hiccapop Omniboost Travel Booster Seats – again these folded up super easy and came in bags for easy transportation. Not necessarily a “twin” thing, but I strongly recommend instead of hauling a highchair or booster seat when traveling.

Well, that’s it. That’s all I got. Actually, I could keep going, but I’ll stop there. When I first found out I was pregnant with twins I was feeling overwhelmed and had no idea what I needed! Hopefully some soon-to-be twin mamas will find this helpful.

Things Aren't Always What They Seem: Hemiplegic Migraines

Yesterday, while I was reviewing a document at work things got weird. I couldn’t comprehend the words, and nothing was making sense. And then I could only see certain letters. Even though I have had too many hemiplegic migraines to count, it had been a while and I panicked – sure I was having a stroke. I quickly emailed my boss and left – I didn’t trust myself to find her and have a conversation because I knew the words wouldn’t form like they should. I just wanted to be alone – to avoid questions, concern or embarrassment.

On the way home – probably driving a little faster than I should – I realized if I got pulled over I would be in a bad situation. I would not be able to explain to the police officer what was happening and it would definitely be assumed I was drunk or on drugs. By this point the confusion was worse and I started to experience what I refer to as “kaleidoscope vision” where my sight is interrupted by circulating bright lights. I couldn’t remember common words and names I knew well seemed foreign to me. I know it is all part of the migraine and that it would end at some point but when you’re in the middle of it it’s horrifying and heartbreaking and hard to remember your brain will return to normal.

I think what threw me the most was this one went out of order. Usually they are by the book – first the kaleidoscope vision, then the numbness, tingling and heaviness from my face down my left arm and through my fingers. Then, in the worst case ones – like yesterday – the confusion and slurred speech starts. Usually all the symptoms – from the vision to the confusion – are done within an hour. Then I am sometimes left with a headache (other times I just have the symptoms but no actual head pain) and the post-migraine fog which often lasts 24 hours or more. But yesterday it took almost two hours to get through the symptoms – which tells me the recovery is going to much longer than 24 hours. Sometimes my brain isn’t back up to speed for a couple days. It is a terrible, hopeless feeling.

These migraines first started about 12 years ago – but I would only have them once a year. I’ve seen ebbs and flows since then including a huge increase during my pregnancy with Francesca and then after the birth of Amelia and Annabelle. Thankfully we have found a medication that seems to break the cycle when they are unrelenting. I discontinued the medication at the end of July and have been doing great…until yesterday. And yesterday was the reason I hate them more than anything now. In the days BK (before kids) I would go home and sleep for hours – usually most of the day and then overnight. These days, that isn’t an option. And when it happened yesterday I had the additional challenge of Chris covering a basketball game. Thankfully, my village came through – per usual. Our nanny, Jessica, stayed late with the twins and Grandpa and Grandma took Francesca overnight and dropped her off at school this morning.

But the guilt that comes with not being able to take care of my kids is awful. I don’t care how bad I feel, I don’t want to be away from them in my room sleeping it off, I don’t want someone else to have to take care of them. I am their mom - I should be able to handle it. And most things I can, but not hemiplegic migraines. They are my kryptonite. And if I’m being painfully honest - I fear that they are the one thing that could break me. Everything else I can figure out and overcome, but not these. With that said, that’s me in the middle of the migraine war - once I’m a couple days on the mend,  I’ll be back to kicking ass and believing I can overcome everything.

I’m not sure the point of sharing this, other than – things are not always what they seem. Anyone who would have seen me at work yesterday, or a police officer pulling me over on the way home, would have for sure thought I was drunk, high or having a stroke. Thankfully it was “just” a migraine (she says with a laugh). I’m feeling better today but it will likely be a few days before I feel 100%, until then I will be tired (again, mother of 8-month-old twins, laughs), I will take longer to find the right words and I’ll be near tears often, because these stupid migraines leave me terrified and on edge about when the next one will come. I’m also sharing because I’m working hard on reaching out when I need help and not defaulting to my mom (this is where she’ll object, and say its fine – but it’s not). So – all of you who have continuously offered to help be warned – I might be coming for you. XO

Update: before I could even publish this or share it, I had another migraine. Thankfully, Chris is in town and can take on the parenting duties tonight. I’m at home, laying down and waiting for a return call from my migraine doctor.