No Trespassing? No Shit!

Seriously. I find it confusing and oddly annoying when I see obviously occupied houses displaying signs that say "No Trespassing". No shit. It's like publicly proclaiming "please do not rob me." Like someone is going to walk up to rob you and be like, "oh, we're not supposed to trespass here, put your 9 away, we won't be busting a cap here tonight". WTF?!

 I have also noticed that 99% of the houses displaying these signs are houses I wouldn't approach, even if I was armed and/or invited.

I mean, I can see if it is a house that isn't clearly occupied, but the owner wants people to know it hasn't been abandoned...or a piece of land. But a clearly occupied home? Not so much.

When I was talking to a friend about it, she replied, "it's like an ADT sign." HA! But she was right. The "No Trespassing" sign is the poor man's "ADT" solution. NEWSFLASH...not quite the same. If you have to put up a "no trespassing" sign, chances are...you don't have anything worth stealing. Well, maybe the meth you are cooking...but don't fret, I'm not interested. 

It screams, "ILLEGAL ACTIVITY IN PROGRESS". That's it! Maybe it is like the tennis shoes on the wires outside of drug houses. It is letting the thug population know that they are among their own. Whatever it is, I think it is utterly ridiculous. 

I thought about taking pictures to accompany this blog post, but then decided I wasn't really looking to get shot. If that changes, at a later date...I will add some pics.

A Bachelorette that eats = a good thing

This blog was originally written February 16, 2006 and posted on MYSPACE. Haha. But, since I find myself getting sucked into another season of the Bachelor, I thought it was appropriate to post....

I'm a bit of a bachelor/bachelorette fan, I'm not gonna lie. But as entertaining as I find it, I always said I would never do it. I mean, it is just a bunch of snotty, whiny, skinny girls fighting over some guy that they don't even know and claiming "I never thought I could feel this way blah blah blah" while he makes out with his 10 other girlfriends. But then I decided...if they created a chubby-girl bachelorette or a bachelor who likes chubby girls (ya know, girls that eat)...i would be so there. Granted, they'd have to ditch the bikini massages and hot tubs, and sexy little dresses are out. And considering I am really good at getting hurt and having surgery, any sports/ physical competitions would be nixed... hmmmm, movie line competitions and stick figure drawing contests it is. It would be a blast! Who's with me?

I mean really, a majority of Americans are bigger then a size 0......they would totally relate. It would be much more fun then watching all those skeletor girls go at it. Seriously girls: "EAT A CHEESEBURGER AND KEEP IT DOWN."

So do I think my brain busting idea is going to take off...er, probably not. But it would sure be fun!!

And, almost 7 years later it is pretty clear my idea isn't catching on, so tonight I'm going to up the ante "HEY BITCHES, EAT A CHEESEBURGER  AND FRIES AND KEEP THEM DOWN."